Instead of torturing poor small crabs, Yngve Ekern should climb aboard a Norwegian horse wagon, to enjoy one of Norway's finest traditions!.
I have read of this tradition, and it is indeed noble!
Was caught from a toilet seat!
In this ceremony, Yngve would be able to fire a large hook (with an exploding head on it) into a horse-supposedly a large intelligent mammal - and after the poor horse has dragged his wagon several Kilometers through the streets of Oslo, and it is too exhausted to run anymore, the wagoners will descend from the wagon and then CUT UP the still-living horse into pieces (hopefully we assume the horse does not live too much longer - but that's OK; horses don't feel pain).
Hey- This horse killing festival is apparently perfectly LEGAL under Norwegian law. Yngve Ekern need not fear any prosecution from silly misguided animal-rights groups such as NOAH!
Horse meat is apparently a Norwegian delicacy, and part of their 'cultural heritage'.
Of course, the UN only permits a limited number of horses to be killed in in this manner each year, and only for 'scientific research' (chuckle-chuckle)
But it's a Grand Tradition and we should not condemn the Norwegians for their horse-spearing way of life.
But alas! There is some talk of now extending this noble tradition to killing whales! Hmmnn.. now perhaps this is going a bit TOO far.
Much better to stick to crabs and horses.
My God! Spearing a large whale with a large exploding hook? Why, not even the Japanese would be savage enough to do that!
Most of the people that are against nuclear power in so-called "western society" have little or no grounding in science.
Prick one- ask him (more likely, it's a "her") how they did in Science subjects in school -
and see what answers you get.
Don't
forget now- we are talking High School - forget college, there would
be an even dimmer set of replies - and see how they fare:
Physics? "Oh that was TOTALLY borrrring! I slept through Physics class! Ha ha!"
Math? "Oh gee.. Barbie told me that math is HARRRRD!"
OK, then-
Chemistry? "Oh that stuff is really dirty! I took Poetry Appreciation 101 instead."
But now, somehow they have magically acquired an extensive scientific
knowledge, and have decided that Nuclear Power is... well, basically
EVIL.
Notice the similarity between this concept, and the people of
300 years ago who believed that witches were evil? Ah, many of the
people that now believe Nuclear Power is evil probably also believe in -
or even practice - "good witchcraft".
viz. Arthur C. Clarke's 3rd Law.
But I digress.
- Well, gee- It IS kinda horrible that 30,000 people died at 3-Mile-Island, huh?
ummm..You're wrong! - Oh, wait- it wasn't 30,000? OK small correction- three thousand!
No, silly! Oh, well I seem to recall three hundred..
Nope. Wrong again. - Three dozen? I know there's a "3" in there somewhere!
No. - Golly! Just THREE PEOPLE ???
No.
Sorry. NO ONE died at 3-Mile Island. - Then what was all this fuss about?
It's called "journalism", sweetie! MEDIA! We gotta crank up the fear factor to sell our news!
Now before someone steps in here and says "Yes, but what about all
the cancer deaths later caused by all that evil radiation released at 3-mile island",
well I will simply throw back at you what about the cancer deaths caused
by coal pollution, mining, and for that matter breathing in epoxy
resins from Wind-turbine blade construction?
It happens quietly, consequently does not create much of a ripple in the daily news.
It should be interesting to see how Angela Merkel will be regarded
forty years from now, as more and more of these wind-turbines flood the
landscape of Germany. I bet the French (85% nuclear) are quietly
chuckling as they sell more and more electricity to Germany...
Say- as an afterthought, what ever happened to those hydrogen powered cars we were all supposed to be driving by 2009?
Typically on this most ominous of days - the Ides of March - the CBC is reporting that Halal meat, particularly
chicken, is now surreptitiously being sold in unmarked packages in Quebec supermarkets such as "Metro" and
"IGA"!
Rumors are circulating (with the help of CBC Radio Montreal) that this tainted chicken, when eaten by an
unsuspecting Christian man, may cause him to grow a beard (i.e stop
shaving), and, if a Christian woman consumes too much (read: any!) of this chicken, she will start donning a
headscarf, such as those that the pious Catholic ladies in Quebec used to wear a
half century or so ago.
Details? See this shocking report. And beware.
It is as yet uncertain what sort of effect this Halal meat may have
upon a person of the "Hebraic persuasion", but one can only shudder at
the implications.
Will this revered dining establishment be next?
If you, or any member of your family, are developing peculiar urges to bow down several times a day while facing East, it is advised you stop eating this chicken IMMEDIATELY!
Any remaining chicken in your refrigerator whether cooked or raw, should be returned to your supermarket for a refund. Store clerks have been instructed to deal with you pleasantly.
Alternately, you might be able to call in a Catholic priest
to have your chicken exorcised. This should reverse the ill effects of any "blessing" or "sacrament" given by a zealous imam.**
Good Christian chickens!
Catholic priests are on standby now!
Call 1-666-BAD-HALAL (1-666-223-4252) to have this hallowed ancient rite performed on your meat, or for safety's sake, the whole refrigerator.
(Note: exorcism for extra-hot BBQed drumsticks and wings done at a slight extra charge)
More details (breathless) will follow shortly from the CBC Fact Line. Stay tuned.
And Happy Ides of March.
**“Halal is acertification
process consisted of having an iman recite a prayer in the chicken rendering plant and does not
affect the slaughtering methods at all” .... Yeah...Right!
It was a day to remember:
The 29th of the month. Only ONCE every four years. Yup. that's today! Your Lucky number? Well, we just don't know, do we, Dude...?
Don Cherry fans everywhere are ecstatic.
For, HE had come! In his radiant raiments for all to see.
Soon, all would be traveling to the wondrous
website Men Who Look Like Don Cherry and marveling at its splendor.
Meanwhile other disturbing foreign news was making its presence known, and interrupting the normal flow of information through the placid aether.
